This week, I decided to budget time for randomness. Specifically, or, more dangerously, on Valentine’s Day. My girlfriend, Ciera, and I had vague plans for the day, but truth be told, I’m exhausted by constant structure and planning.
My week looks horrible on paper.
Monday is work from nine to five, followed by homework.
Tuesday and Wednesday, I sleep in, do more homework, then go to class at noon and work until nine.
Thursday is classes front-to-back. I don’t like to talk about that one.
Friday is one class at noon, followed by managing financials, sending resumés and calling apartments.
The weekends used to be a time of relaxation, but now, I work and work and catch up on all the homework I may have overlooked.
This is a very transitional time in life, and to alleviate fears I have about my future, I must meticulously schedule and save. Having a few days free until noon is nice, but I’m a night person, despite my best efforts to fight it.
Anyway, Valentine’s day was planned. I had the flowers, chocolates, a lovely necklace, a restaurant picked out and midday plans. At the last minute, I scrapped schedule. Crazy as it may seem, life and love are about making decisions in the moment, and I don’t want to lose sight of that. I did the gifts, cooked breakfast, and simply asked, “What do you want to do now?”
The spontaneity took us to a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, vastly different from the upscale one I had selected. I had mac and cheese for dinner for the first time in years. I had a lavender cocktail that tasted like potpourri. I felt connected with Ciera. It was one of the best days I had ever had, and it was exactly nothing like I had pictured it.
Sometimes, planning is beneficial. Getting set up for the future, travel plans, and meeting times – all great examples. But life isn’t a plan. I’m not into the nine to five ’til sixty thing. I want to experience things I never would have if I hadn’t gone with the flow rather than damming up all of the water.
I let life take the leash and I had a great time. I felt free from responsibility, if only for a short while, and hadn’t a care in the world. The point is, control over your life limits its potential. You have to relinquish that control, let go at the right times and see where it takes you. It made me feel like I can trust the world, that I can trust life to be good to me when I don’t throttle it. How will it make you feel?
Also, it was -10° outside, and I thought I was going to die.